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Talking about a relationship (whether in a couple, family, mother-son or father-son, grandparents-grandchildren, etc.) involves taking into account a series of words and verbs. If these are not taken into account, the relationship will not be fluid. In this way, we can talk about a magic recipe to achieve a good relationship between parents and children It consists of a series of ingredients in the form of words. Only by remembering them and putting them into practice can the bonds that unite the family become fluid and enriching.
We refer to these words: GIVE, RECEIVE, ACCEPT, DO NOT ACCEPT and ASK.
They seem easy, because we all know their meaning, but we have to see what happens to each of them and how they affect relationships. And we do not always know how to use them to benefit our links.
To begin with, we have to remember that in the balance is success. For example, if I start giving, giving and giving, as happens in many relationships with a couple or between mother and child, it may happen that I am left empty, because I have given everything from myself, and I do not receive what I expect in return. Here we would have a first imbalance.
Also, when I give, give and keep giving, I am not aware that I can saturate the other, and that can do let the relationship explode. Perhaps with an example we will see it more clearly: imagine that your daughter is with open arms to receive a hug and you go and hang a bag in one hand, then you put another bag in the other hand, and later, you decide to give one more bag, and another, and another, and another, and another… How will your daughter end up? Indeed, saturated with bags, and tired of holding so much weight. This example can be used in other very diverse situations: compliments, various affections, anger, etc.
We have to learn find the balance between giving and receiving. In the example above, my daughter ends up saturated, but I also end up empty. And what do I survive on now? Therefore, I can give but I have to keep finding the source to keep receiving. There is the balance between giving and receiving.
We must bear in mind that we are better at giving than receiving, so the first task is to learn to receive. A clear example of a situation in which we do not know how to receive is the moment in which someone says a compliment to you and you do not know how to respond. Next time they tell you, reply: THANK YOU. And so you will be receiving without more.
The second most frequent imbalance is between accepting or not accepting.For not hurting the other, We can be accepting everything he gives us, even knowing that it is not what we like or what suits us at that moment.
Accepting also involves knowing how to receive from the other and, of course, accepting them in their process of giving. We must give it that chance that many times we do not give within relationships with our children or partner.
4. Don't accept
Not accepting is living in coherence, taking only what you need and know how to say NO when necessary. These are also frequent problems in relationships. In case my partner or my son gets angry, I take or accept everything from him, even if I don't like it.
Watch out! Because with this attitude we can be developing a conformist role where anything goes. Learn not to accept what you really think is not good for you. If you can't say NO or don't have assertiveness techniques, learn them. They are key points to have a good balanced relationship.
And finally, we have to learn to ask, because many times we do not know how to do it. For example, you may be needing belts instead of handbags and, by not telling your mother what you need, she is charging you with something that is of no use to you. Learning to ask is not selfish. You must know how to do it, because others do not have to know what you need at all times. Ask for it!
Finally, it should be noted that this magic recipe, with its ingredients, concerns the parent-child relationship, but it also affects other types of relationships such as romantic partners or grandparents and grandchildren.
You can read more articles similar to The magic recipe for a good relationship between parents and children, in the category of Being mothers and fathers on site.